Dating is exhausting. It’s a roller coaster with a series of highs and lows. We all have different approaches, different schools of thought. With online dating, some are able to take on a rapid succession of dates, which can make the ride less remarkable. Others are prone to invest heavily in each new date: a big climb, which can result in a thundering drop.
At the end of last weekend, I began chatting up a Tinder match. She was my usual kryptonite: blonde, impeccably dressed, in fashion. After tough one-word responses from her, I was able to get her to open up and had an evening of rapid-fire exchanges on chat. We made plans for Wednesday night. During our conversations, she mentioned that she had met someone who was “really really nice and well-mannered” through the app. What was the problem? “He was remarkably short.” She ended up asking me if I was over 5’4” so she was “prepared” and I am. But not by much… I hoped she was smaller.
A few hours before the date, I checked in on Hinge and lo and behold, there she was. 5’4” – damn. As you know, height tends to be a theme for short guys. I’ve been a bit formulaic with dating and went to the usual place. Mental note: switch it up! As I saw her entering, I saw them: the heels. Fashion girls wear heels no matter the conditions; they love their stilettos and only having children will eclipse this love. Do not get between her and the Louboutins. With heels on, she was taller than me. Probably a disappointment, but I soldiered on. This “go-to place” is always loud and we couldn’t hear each other so I had to re-arrange the chairs to the entertainment of our neighbors, while she made small talk with a neighbor drinking alone. When we switched, the neighbor was stood up by her friend, but wasn’t sure because she left her phone at home. The two of them would end up in a highly intelligent conversation about environmental law and energy. It was impressive and I had nothing to contribute. Not a good look.
When the neighbor left, I finally had my chance and I went after it. The charm offensive generally works, but at this point, the climb was high. She was laughing, talking, but stopped drinking after one, then declined my invitation to grab a bite since she ate earlier and had to walk her dog. Ouch. I told her we might eat after, so I didn’t really believe that one. And that was it. I walked her to a cab, she half-expected me to jump in with her and drop her off, but I needed the walk. She said something about me being really cool and speaking soon, but it was like being given a parting gift. The irony. Ladies, when you hurriedly rush out, it doesn’t make us want you more. Sometimes it does. Sometimes, it just makes us feel like you wanted to get the F out of Dodge. I had zero intentions of messaging her.
The next night, I was out drinking with friends and recapping this fiasco. I realized I’ve come to terms with the idea of winning and losing. The date with Fashion Girl was a loss. The girl I really wanted was the Nurse. As I was showing my friends pics of Fashion Girl, they were commenting that she was beautiful and pangs of regret began to trickle in. And within the hour, she texted me to decline my invite for any plans that weekend (including Valentine’s Day). Naturally, this triggered me to text Fashion Girl something. Dumb. Dumb dumb dumb. The loss just became a blowout.
And the dating roller coaster continues. Wait on the long winding lines, strap yourself in, make the big climb, take big drops, take small drops, do it. It can be The Cyclone, it can be the Great American Scream Machine. Pick one that suits your style and hop on. Just don’t forget to get off when you need a little break. Because we all end up needing a break until we meet someone who makes us want to stay on.