Walking downstairs to the basement level of Duane Reade where the dental care section is, I was promptly greeted by the greeting card aisle. Valentine’s Day. For my fellow singles out there who just survived the romantic pressure of the holidays, they’re coming harder with the full Valentine’s assault. We haven’t even had the chance to experience our regrettable New Year’s Eve hook-up; Cupid and his army of red hearts have already descended upon us.
If you’re a thirty-something male, it only pushes you towards one direction. Away from the concept. Listen up, Hallmark: we are trapped beasts. Our close friends are married. With kids. We rarely see these beloved souls. Or they’re in very serious relationships and we know we’re about to lose them. We feel this barrage and resent the pressure, thus embrace the alternative: a fantasy Bruce Wayne, James Bond lifestyle. Yet after doing the math, Hallmark actually has it right. Instead of one Valentine’s card, we end up buying two or three. It will take roughly three months for us to realize these lifestyles are unattainable.
Before Christmas, Tinder land was very quiet. It was holiday party time, then family time, and suddenly it exploded the day after Christmas. New York City was back and looking for love! Most women already have their plans lined up, but best to get a good start on love in 2014. I personally have four dates calendared in.
I did get a date in right away. Hot single mom from OKCupid popped back up on my radar thanks to a Facebook post that led me to her blog, which hinted she was not seeing someone. To update, about a month and a half ago we exchanged lengthy messages every day for roughly a week about our lives and histories. She went on a long trip and returned. During that trip, I met a nurse from Tinder who I really like. The nurse was coming off a relationship, we went out three times, and it has been in a holding pattern the past three weeks. She is not ready to date and has other issues right now. The kind of issues that led her to move back home I presume (before I met her). The day I set up a date with hot mom, the nurse informed me that she’s just not sure about anything and basically killed any hopes I had. However, we netted out that she’d like to still hang out. Something I’m not sure will actually happen. Anyway, I needed to go out with hot mom now and I was excited: the timing of both our prospective long-term relationships started and definitively ended simultaneously!
My attraction to hot single mom is strong. She is an amateur erotic novel writer. I’ve read two of them and they’re solid. Her words simply draw me to her, not to mention it’s full of hot sex. We met for drinks, then I asked her to join me for a bite. I wasn’t sure about how this date was going. She spoke about the date she had the next night, the relationship she just had (with a dominant and the dominant’s friend, another dominant), her NYE sex party, and how she doesn’t want a traditional relationship at the moment. As we went further into the night, she spoke of poly amorous relationships and asked me if I was interested in the concept. Now scroll back up this post. Did I say James Bond? I meant Austin Powers. Yeah, baby! Still I wasn’t sure if all this talk was the type that you hear from a sex therapist (she could be one I believe) who’s trying to help a prude (me, when compared to her). I verbally committed to read a book with her, which was recommended by a dominant she is going to date. The Ethical Slut. At the end of the date, we made out on the street before I put her in a cab.
Reviewing all this in my head, I’m able to identify something I want from a woman. The power to thrill me intellectually, which translates to physical desire. Even more ironic is that this is the first post on my blog about settling down, committing, and the journey to fatherhood… yet I’m writing about starting a two-person book club on open relationships. Stick around. This is just the beginning.